the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
