Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize