very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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