I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
