Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
