I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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