bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
