5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
