Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
