I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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