I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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