Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
