so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
