Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
