I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
