He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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