DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
