i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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