is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
