i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
