He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
