i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
