u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just puked most of my soul out..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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