life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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