I want to make a zoo with you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
