He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Couch. On fire.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
