I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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