I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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