Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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