i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
