does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
