You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
