You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
