It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
