What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
