She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
