he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
