i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
