Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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