Betty ford says i'm here all night
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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