Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
