So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
