I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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