I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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