Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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