Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
