I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
They should really pass out barf bags in church
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
