Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize