a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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