Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
