CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
