A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Enjoy the penises
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize