I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
