talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
