No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
