Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
