My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
