no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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